Sunday, December 16, 2007

The most hated person in Dallas since J.R. Ewing

If that's not what they're calling Jessica Simpson in Dallas tonight -- they should.

The tuna enthusiast and champion hair flipper was in attendance today at Texas Stadium in Dallas to watch her latest boyfriend/prey, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. Romo played his worst game of the year, which was only Dallas’ second loss of the season (to the Philadelphia Eagles, 10-6):

Romo was 13-of-36 for 214 yards. All three pickoffs came on balls forced to Owens. He also was sacked four times, all on the final two drives, when his banged-up hand bothered him so much he dropped a ball while cocking to throw.

His quarterback rating of 22.2 was easily the worst of his career. His previous worst was at home against Philadelphia last December, another game attended by a starlet love interest. It was Carrie Underwood then, Jessica Simpson now. When cameras spotted Simpson in the first half, she tugged the front of her pink No. 9 jersey, then mouthed the word “Romo!”

Well, at least she didn't have to spell it.

Now, in fairness, Jessica Simpson does have loads of beauty and talent. Compared to her sister.

But she is a painfully transparent starf***er, having unsuccessfully pursued Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine, before latching onto sensitive singer-songwriter John Mayer. (But he eventually wised up.) Both "relationships" were punctuated by media leaks that obviously came from Simpson's camp.

Now, I don’t really care if Jessica Simpson ruins John Mayer’s career. But my Cowboys? Time to hit the road, Jess.

Update: Chelsea Handler agrees with me:

"Jessica Simpson attended boyfriend Tony Romo's football game. The Cowboys quarterback had the worst game of his career. It's a bad year for the name Simpson. Even O.J. is pissed, he feels like they're making his name look bad."

By the way, I recommend Handler's nighly show on the E! Network, seen in southern Ontario on CH at 12:00 midnight. Her topical panel at the top of the show is very funny, and she has continued to have new shows throughout the writers' strike. (I also recommend E!'s "Talk Soup," which is like three Kimmel monologues in a row.)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeaaaah it was Simpson who served a 12 course meal of suckage tonight. You just keep believing that. Romo's injury, coupled with generally crappy play in general is gonna lead to a conference final at Lambeau and a nosebleed view of the Pats-Packers Superbowl.

Joan Tintor said...

Ouch!

Doron said...

Now I know who to blame if I will lose the fantasy football semis. I'm up by 10 with Chester Taylor vs. Adrian Peterson tonight. I will start Ben Roethlisberger instead whether it's the final or the 3rd place game.

NB taxpayer said...

I'm not sure if that was Simpson's fault. The 'boys were almost taken down by the Bills (Romo had a gazillion interceptions in that game) and the woeful Detroit Lions --- and Simpson wasn't in the stand then.

Although, as a longftime Pat fan, I'm glad she's not dating Brady (or even Steve Grogan). lol

Anonymous said...

Hit the road Jess! Hope Tony wakes up and smells the coffee before his career is down in the dumps.

Show Jessica the door, Tony. Just like you did with Carrie Underwood.

Anonymous said...

Jessica Simpson 2007 = Tara Reid 2002. I Seem to recall Tom Brady taking a similar swoon right after the Patriots first Super Bowl win, which coincided with the time that skank Tara Reid started stalking/dating him. It was only when he dumped her, and traded up to Bridget Moynahan, that his career went in the right direction again. If I'm a Cowboy fan, I'm looking to see if Romo can kiss and make up with Carrie Underwood ASAP.